Day Sixteen.

I’m still not feeling well, so my mom is making me eat soup and bread and stuff, and drink soda to “settle my stomach.” Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about this, since she is having me stay home from school and my dad works from home, so he can ensure that I’m eating. Sigh… I’ve made absolutely no progress these past two weeks. But that’s going to change. As soon as I get better, I’ll have control over my body again. And come January 2nd, 2012, I will be skinny, sexy, and the envy of all girls at school.

Current: 113 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 2 lbs

Day Fifteen.

My Pre-New Year’s Resolution: to be skinny, sexy, and beautiful when we go back to school after winter break on January 2nd. I will weigh less than 100 pounds, I will wear a size 1 at most, and I will wear my new leo to dance and look beautiful in it. I have just under 8 weeks to reach my goal, which means I will have to lose about 2 pounds per week. Easy peasy.

Current: 113 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 2 lbs

Day Fourteen.

The weekend wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Obviously, I didn’t lose any weight this past week, but my boyfriend came down with the flu and he passed it on to me, so finding an excuse not to wear a bikini wasn’t much of an issue. Instead, him and I laid in bed all weekend in sweatpants and hoodies, slept, and watched television. Not the perfect beach weekend I was planning a week and a half ago, but ideal considering my weight circumstances.

Current: 113 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 2 lbs

Day Ten.

I’m so ashamed of myself. I’m seventeen years old, a senior in high school, and an aspiring ballerina. Girls like that don’t eat mac and cheese, pizza, and salami sandwiches, or drink chocolate milk and soda on a daily basis. But that’s me. And sadly, I don’t think that’s something I can change.

Current: 114 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 1 lb

Day Nine.

Only a few more days to go until this dreaded vacation. I just feel like giving up. A week ago I was so determined, so sure in my goal. But of course, that’s the way it’s always been. I plan and plan, and believe so much in myself, and then a few days’ time proves that my ambition lacks the necessary motivation. I’m a lazy, fat pig, who just doesn’t deserve to be skinny and beautiful. It’s time to face the facts, and just give in to reality.

Current: 114 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 1 lb

Day Eight.

I wore my new leotard for the first time to class today, and don’t think I will be wearing it again for quite a while. It’s so small on me, it cuts into my arms and nearly chokes me. Plus, it’s so tight that it makes me look a pig trying to fit into a beautiful leo. Maybe I just need to accept the fact that I am fat. And fat girls can’t be ballerinas.

Current: 114 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 1 lb

Day Seven.

Luckily I had dance tonight, which kept me away from the candy for a while. Afterward, however, I went to my boyfriend’s house to help him pass out candy to the trick-or-treaters. I indulged in a few pieces of a chocolate Hershey’s bar, but otherwise I stayed away from temptation. I was also a ballerina for Halloween, so hopefully walking around in my pointe shoes helped. Though when I weighed myself, I found that I’m the same exact weight I’ve been for the past three days. Augh. This weekend could not be looking any more miserable.

Current: 113 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 2 lbs

Day Six.

Today was pretty much a boring replica of yesterday, with an added touch of football to bore me into the kitchen. I ate some pizza at my boyfriends house, but then I walked around in my pointe shoes for about three hours and then threw the football around with him, so hopefully I made up somewhat for my lapse… and to add to my misery, I am on my period this weekend. On the upside, this means I won’t have it at the beach next weekend. On the downside, I won’t be able to use it as an excuse not to wear a bikini.

Current: 113 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 2 lbs

Day Five.

So I have exactly a week until this dreaded mini-vacation with my parents and boyfriend. I’ve been wearing my pointe shoes and last years recital costume every chance I get. I know it sounds stupid, but I figure that with my clumsiness, I dare not even chance getting my beautiful shoes or costume dirty so I keep myself away from food for that reason. It’s working, to an extent. I was afraid to weigh myself today, so my stats with remain as they were yesterday. Hoping for a rejuvenating week.

Current: 113 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 2 lbs

Day Four.

I caved in yesterday and ate like a pig at my boyfriends house. Lovely. Gained back 3 lbs from the weight I had lost. And now that it’s the weekend, I’m probably going to end up gaining it all back, just in time to repeat the course next week. Plus, I just found out that my family is going to the beach in about a weeks time, and my boyfriend will be going with us. Looks like I won’t be enjoying myself too much.

Current: 113 lbs        Goal 1: 110 lbs        Goal 2: 100 lbs        Goal 3: 90 lbs        Lost: 2 lbs